One Thing I Learned at Kagan Training!

I was two years old but didn't speak a single word until my mother purchased a doll who spoke when her string was pulled.  I wasn't neglected. I just hadn't used language to express myself yet.  I seemed smart enough, my mother says, so she wasn't too worried, but she bought the doll as a bit of encouragement. My mother got more than she expected. I pulled the doll's string one time and began speaking in complete sentences.

My mother's patience and gentle encouragement paid off--I'm still speaking to this very day!

My mother shared this story with me only a month ago. Here's something else I've learned about myself recently--I'm a circle!

That's what I learned during one of the introductory group tasks at a Kagan workshop last summer. Asked to choose a shape that represents my personality, I chose the circle from among the square, rectangle, and triangle. Now in groups we shared why we chose that shape. I spoke last. Introverts usually do. We are much more likely to share our hearts and engage in deeper level conversation, so I spent some time explaining my choice. How I like taking care of other people. How I'm always trying to include others and make them feel valued and appreciated. How I value what everyone I work with thinks of me.

The facilitator saved the description of the circle for last--I just figured they were saving the best for last.

The facilitator then gave a brief warning: "You may not want to use this personality test with your own students." I slump down in my seat. "Circles might get embarrassed and teased."  My heart's beating a bit faster. With a grin on his face, the facilitator announced, "Circles are very passionate people--very sensual!" I heard chuckles in the room. I could't believe I'd just become a target of a joke at a workshop that promotes collaborative conversations in the classroom. My three group members looked toward me. One said, "Hey, way to go."

My husband attended that same training. I told him how embarrassing and inappropriate it was.  He told me that he was a circle, too. Now you know the secret to our incredible marriage!

Don't get me wrong. Kagan training is amazing. I was able to put that awkward moment behind me because of my passion for helping students find their voices. The content of the workshop mattered so much to me that I shook of this uncomfortable moment.

What if I'm a teacher who decided to use that same personality test in her classroom--a reproducible page is in Kagan's teaching materials? If I'd been back in high school and a teacher had done this to me, I'd have lost all trust with that teacher. Want me to share with my partners on the next task? Absolutely not. I may go through the motions and share surface level answers but I'm not sharing my heart like that again.

Our goal is to promote safe, trustworthy environments. Introverts never want to be the butt of any joke. Trust me, we feel awkward enough already.

We want to speak. We just need to know it's safe to do so.

A Little Theory About Personality Traits and Restroom Stalls

I've only hidden in restrooms twice in my life--once in seventh grade to hide from a bully and once in 10th grade to get out of an English classroom presentation.

Professor Brian Little hides in restroom stalls before and after he lectures to academic audiences. You'd never guess this man is an acclaimed instructor at Cambridge University and author of Me, Myself and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being.  An "extreme introvert," Professor Little is able to do what many introverts do--pretend he's a superstar on stage! His gregarious rhetoric and lighthearted humor dazzle his audiences, but his public persona concludes the moment he walks off stage, and he seeks quiet, restorative spaces where he can avoid small talk, superficial conversation, and awkward moments. Bathrooms make good hiding places.

Professor Little explains how he and other introverts are able to step out of their comfort zones and temporarily behave like extroverts, how they're able to borrow the talisman of others and carry it like a torch for a short while. He's coined the phrase Free Trait Theory--the belief that personality traits are much more fluid than previously believed. Our personality traits aren't fixed, contends Little, and because personality traits aren't fixed, people can temporarily adopt public personalities, for example. Free Trait Theory is especially true for introverts if they are passionate about special projects and subjects. That passion creates the spark they need for them to enter worlds that are uncomfortable for them.

I pretend too. I don't hide in restroom stalls now but I do seek corners of crowded rooms. My inner wallflower calls me to the comfortable corners. Now, on purpose, I walk through the center of the room. It takes a bit of concentration and a flip of the hair, but I put a confident smile on my face and a spring in my step and walk to the center of the room. Professor Little would give me a knowing smile. I can appreciate the deep breath he and others like myself take when they step onto stages. They do it whether they're feeling particularly confident or not. They do it because their pursuits propel them forward.

As an instructional coach for my school district, I step onto stages often. It's not comfortable for me, and each workshop I facilitate causes me to become incredibly klutzy, but I begin speaking about the workshop topic and become someone else. It's so refreshing. My message becomes so meaningful to me that I forget about myself and focus on my audience instead.

We can teach students to pretend, too, especially our introverts. It's just too easy to overlook them, but we can get them so engaged with personally satisfying and meaningful projects that they are willing to place themselves on stages to promote these projects. Isn't that the goal of education--to get our students so motivated and concerned about certain subjects that it causes them to speak and write like scholars so the world will listen?

I'm delighted to know that I'm not alone. Wouldn't it be empowering for students to know that too?

"Speak with conviction. Even if you believe something only fifty-five percent, say it as you believe it a hundred percent" (Cain 47).  This Harvard Business School mantra teaches brilliant-minded individuals to rely on personality rather than substance. Introverts appreciate the honest and genuine. How much more powerful for our students to speak with 100% conviction! My goal as an educator is to give them that chance.

How A Personality Driven Culture Influences Classroom Pratices

Charismatic people carry a special talisman that many of us introverts wish we could borrow. They can walk into rooms and bask in the attention of watchful eyes . They can speak with authority on topics they're the least familiar with. They can tell jokes that aren't knee-slappers. Nature gave them this birthright and they get to carry it with them for the rest of their lives. The rest of us, who often feel somewhat cheated with our dowries, can only make up for our lack of charisma through stagecraft. And though most of us can wear masks of confidence when we speak to audiences, we remove those masks and see our quieter selves in our mirrors when we return to our comfort zones.

Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking gives me much needed insight in the way I see myself in that mirror. Cain specifically reveals culture's lust for charismatic personalities through her research on extroversion and introversion. It's research that can be directly applied to our teaching practices.

While I was working on my MA degree in Writing Pedagogy, I briefly worked as a bookkeeper for a printing company, and this is where I was given a book that was going to change me forever, my new boss announced. I guess he wanted to cultivate a more exuberant number cruncher. He smiled lavishly and placed Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People in my hands. He asked me to read the book over the weekend and be ready to discuss it the following week. It's not ironic or just coincidental that Cain begins her first chapter "The Rise of the 'Mighty Likeable Fellow': How Extroversion Became to Cultural Ideal" with Carnegie's book. The personality driven culture we live in today, where parents have been taught to praise and reward personality attributes over traditional attributes was and still is in full force. 

After the publication of Carnegie's book, according to Cain, children were taught by well-meaning parents that the socialization of their children was the single most important precursor to success. "The experts advised parents to socialize children well and schools to change their emphasis from book-learning to 'assisting and guiding the developing personality.'" Even the White House promoted this new belief with a slogan of "A healthy personality for every child," Cain adds (27). 

It's one of the reasons I didn't attend Harvard Business School--I say this tongue and cheek--where introversion is almost impossible to find among its students and where this mantra dominates the cultural landscape:  "Speak with conviction. Even if you believe something only fifty-five percent, say it as you believe it a hundred percent" (Cain 47). This sets up a culture where personality rather than substance is rewarded. Those of us who don't stand on stages and shout out our ideas usually get pushed aside for those who do.  Donald Trump seems a perfect example of this.

How does a culture who sees introversion as a type of poverty shape the destinies of its young people, and how have schools promoted that mantra? Those are the questions I will be exploring.